Amusing for Whom???

A week ago, I took my 9 year old niece, Caroline, my 11 year old son Jake, big sister Maggie and boyfriend Thomas to one of the vague memories of my childhood, The Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk. 


  This was a specific request of Caroline for her birthday and I thought it would be a great chance to give my sister Debbie a free day, and give Caroline a thrill at the same time.  I strategically invited Maggie and Thomas along, correctly assuming they would absorb Caroline's often intense energy. 

I have never understood gay men's obsession with amusement parks.  I really know very few straight guys who love going to Magic Mountain, Six Flags, Kings Island, etc etc, well into their adulthood.  I always assumed these trips were something fathers of small children HAD to do.  Imagine my surprise when my kids grew up and I STILL was pressured into going for any number of "Gay Days" at Great America or the like. 

There is really nothing that combines more things that I hate then an amusement park.  The list depresses me just writing it:

1.  Lines
2.  Heat
3.  Heights
4.  Greasy, overpriced Food
5.  Being upside down
6.  Traffic

Still I convinced myself this would be fun....and it was in a perverse way.  Thomas and Caroline were the ones completely into every ride.  Maggie and Jake, being of sensible stock, merely "tolerated" the rides, and concentrated on plotting the next junk food purchase. (Correction,  Jake DID love the bumper cars...he has so much experience riding with Dad!!)

For my part, I ordered a "Jumbo Corndog"....even though it was clear from the display that the regular Corndogs were a better option.  It is very difficult for me to pass up anything  branded  "Jumbo".  I think there  is an implication of greater satisfaction inherent in the designation.  Unfortunately, the picture WAS worth a thousand words.  What looked bad, tasted worse...long, long skinny dog, with greasy doughy batter...too long to eat easily without skewering ones tonsils.  AND the moment the first bite hit my stomach, a burning started which never ended till I got home hours later.

As I walked around, stomach on fire, I kept telling myself...this is not about me, this is not about me, this is not about me (words I would NEVER utter aloud, mind you).  It was about the kids...all I needed to do was survive...and I would have done a good deed.  Ultimately, that's what happened...I (and my stomach) survived, and the kids had fun!!  Its a big part of what parenting is about.  The satisfaction at the end is worth the hassle along the way.  Making a kid happy for a day is a really cool thing!!

Comments

[Tony]

Bruce...
What a parent!!! Now if I'd been there, you'd have had no problem with twisitng my arm for going to the amusement park. I am a rollercoastger fanatic. Hell, this past two weeks, in my first day inn Orlando, I hit Island of Adventure to ride all their rollercoasters. Talk about some gut wrencher rides. But hell, I was like a kid in a candy store. Got to have a bit of KID in you Bruce. And it's so much more enjoyable when you see it from the eyes of a child!

[Bruce]

The sad thing is Tony...I didn't really like them that much as a kid. Its just like Halloween...hated it as a kid...thought I was done with it, and now I'm gay and its happening all over again!!! :-)

[Your LA Buddy]

We are about to lose our Six Flags down here... you have to make a trip to visit the ol' gal one more time.

[Karen]

There's satisfaction in the end? Shit. Why didn't anyone tell ME that? ?BTW I have learned from various sources that plenty of straight men love these places. Let me just say, that that statement, in and of itself (" I love Orlando because of how many amusement parks there are."), is the ultimate buzz cutter. You see, Bruiser, that regardless of all this sexual orientation mumbo jumbo, there are some real connections people make, like HELLO, hating that crap. Better you than me, my friend. And slumber parties? Don't get me started.